To say I have been down just lately would be a massive understatement.
I am struggling, feeling emotionally drained and run down.
Last night, I headed up to bed at 10 pm and felt like falling into bed fully dressed. I made myself put my pajamas on and sat on my bed.
A thought popped into my head that I should do a Visual Journaling exercise – the emotional check in – but almost as quickly, I started to talk myself out of it. ” If I do the exercise, I will probably end up awake half the night going over whatever issues arise from the exercise….”. “I’m just too tired to do it properly” etc….
Then I though about something I read recently (though I can’t remember where) about procrastination so I followed my original instinct and got out my crayons and my large drawing book. I did the drawing and evaluation exercise and when I had finished I put my crayons away and thought, “I can finally go to sleep now” but something stopped me putting away my pen and paper. I had the urge to write something. It wasn’t conscious writing, I didn’t struggle to find words to fit and I didn’t edit it or plan it in any way, it just sort of flowed out of the pen.
This is what I wrote:
Flame flickering in the dark, shining bright,
its orange, yellow magic light.
Mesmerising, draws me in.
Shows what could be and what before has been.
Lights the path ahead and the path behind, this circle of light,
this little flame, shining bright.