I have only been doing the visual journaling for a couple of days and I think I can feel subtle changes in myself, in my thought patterns.
I have had a few “aha”moments where certain things seem to suddenly make some sense.
One of the things I have realised in the last few days is that for a long time, I have subconsciously thought of myself as broken, in need of fixing somehow.
I have also realised that the “future” has been a source of deep rooted fear for me for a very long time. I remember being asked by the school careers advisor at secondary school, where I wanted to be in five years time and being utterly unable to even consider where I might want to be in five days let alone five years.
This fear is probably the reason I have been so drawn to meditation and mindfulness. Being present and living in the now gives me something to hide behind so the big, scary “future” doesn’t find me.
I have experimented a little with visualization techniques in the past to try to help deal with anxiety and self confidence issues but have never got on very well with them. Now I think I understand why that is so I am going to try again with it.
I feel as though I am heading in the right direction……