I have had a difficult couple of weeks and started having anxiety attacks again.
I know exactly what triggered these attacks. I know that I am trying to ignore several “issues” in an attempt to protect myself from things I don’t feel able to cope with right now. But its catch 22 because ignoring these issues is causing me harm – illness and anxiety attacks.
The question I keep coming back to is “will the consequence of dealing with my “issues” be worse than what I am feeling now?? ”
I will probably feel relieved once I have dealt with things one way or the other but I know someone close to me will feel hurt or unhappy whatever I choose to do and I find that really difficult to deal with. I can’t stand the thought of anyone feeling hurt or unhappy because of me.
I keep going round in circles and this seems to be reflected in my recent zentangle inspired drawings and Pinteresting as I have been strongly drawn to mandalas and zendalas in the last few weeks.
However, the difference between now and the last time I suffered anxiety attacks is that I understand why I am having them and I know deep down that things will work out ok in the end.